JUNGLE PARTY NIGHT!

this is what i did for our annual party night!!

my reflection

kaleidoscope

crawling into the light

Breathe in, breathe out
Tell me all of your doubts
Everybody bleeds this way, just the same
Breathe in, breathe out
Move on and break down
If everyone goes away, I will stay

We push and pull
And I fall down sometimes
And Im not letting go
You hold the other line
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

Hold on, hold tight
If Im out of your sight
And everything keeps moving on, moving on
Hold on, hold tight
Make it through another night
In every day there comes a song with the dawn

Look left, look right
To the moon and the night
Everything under the stars is in your arms
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

awakening from illusions!

freedom

tribute to final fantasy 8

for some reason, I am fascinated by EDEA in final fantasy 8... yeup..my final fantasy craze kicks in again..tribute to final fantasy..hail to EDEA

I have been tagged by PIXIE

1 – Three things I can’t do
Get out of my shell
Get out of my bed the min I wake up
Dive - im kinda scared of water

2 – Three things I can do
laugh....laugh...laugh
sing while taking a shower
talk endlessly about myself :-D

3 – Three things That scares me
Getting out of my shell
Getting drowned
What the world might turn into

4 – Three things I love
My mom
My husband
Religion

5 – Three things I hate
Politics
Snobs
Being stuck in the middle of the sea in a bad weather

now i'd like to tag:
http://huvafen-unseen.blogspot.com/
http://mulsifid.blogspot.com/
http://www.angel-in-debt.blogspot.com/
http://www.shappot.blogspot.com/

drama junkie!!

there was this one quote from desperate housewives that got me thinking...that struck me like a lghtning and made me travel into the world of chaos..the galaxy of reality..so the quote goes like this...

"You. You don't want to be happy. You're a drama junkie. When there is no drama, you create it. once the dust settles, you'll kick up some more because you don't know how to just be happy."

so i just realised that my life could be the most perfect life anyone could have and its just all these dramas that i create which makes it a little hard to handle, the fact that i get into too many "situations" which caught me in this web of disappointment i couldnt get out...what i need to do is just take a deep breath, enjoy life and be happy...easy as a pie!!

take the dust and make my own sweet castle instead of throwing it around and making it the big dust monster that swallows all the twinkling stars around me..maybe i should stop being the drama junkie whose life has to be this "happily ever after cinderella story" and when it is i expect it to be the "snow white"story...

maybe all i need is to forget about yesterdays and tommorows...although the today process can be kind of boring and just stop being the junkie i am!!!

rain washed away my sunshine

CD cover design 2

i wait for a better tommorow

im trapped in a cage of golden bars..i see an illusion of a growing rainbow but somehow its making me blind...

the door is open i gotta fly but something deep inside is keeping me there..somewhere deep down i feel that i might end up in a bed of roses...

slowly my feathers are whithering away.. do i see a tommorow or die today?

so many questions unanswered but i still wait for a better tommorow!

i tell people to go find their dreams..maybe one day it might just knock on your door..

but slowly i see my dream fade away but faraway is it the rays of sunlight i see?

it might be just the beautiful dawn before the night conquer!

im craving for something out of my reach but i just cant get it out of my head...

i see it caressing my lips ..

taking my hand and leading me to the place called happiness..

day by day the craving grows and im still waiting for it to come

is there a tommorow or just today?

is there a way out of my dreams?

maybe tommorow..if it ever comes..

maybe tommorow..if it ever takes my hand..

maybe tommorow if it ever kisses my lips...

maybe tommorow...

a faint whisper comes from my heart

Me and the changes

today as I stood at TMA gate to board the seaplane I realised that although at times I can adjust easily to abrupt changes I am not emotionally OK with it. After the strike of MAT crews , my flight to the resort I work in have been cancelled and which also made me spend a whole day and looong 12 hours at the airport so that I could atleast make to the resort on the speedboat. Later on I was told that I should catch the TMA flight today!! But thats not the topic here ,,and yeah getting back to what I was talking about ...**sometimes I do get carried away and yeah yesterday was a reallleee loooong day **

I stared at the empty MAT counter today as the plane took off and my heart sank. I loved the coool style of the MAT sand bar and most of all the coffeeeeee!!! the MAT guys and girls are friendly and can catch up a conversation with them easily or joke abt any topic at all! Unfortunately I found the TMA guys quite shy or hesitant to talk and avoiding any possible conversation. The guy at the coffee counter didnt even give me change for my coffeee

**eyes roll**

I have no personal problem with TMA and I am just stressing the point about me being not flexible about how a certain change can really make my mood go off! Once my friend declared that I am a "change"person that I dare to take the step that could change my life forever. And I guess although most of the time I do pretend that its OK every time I do feel my heart sink when I take the step ahead. And for a certain time I would miss my previous routine life so much that I would even try to turn back and go! Everytime my pride and stubborness would hold my feet together so I dont make the wrong choice or would it be the right one!

And once again I can feel the change knocking on my door and this time I am hesitant to open it and let it come through especially after I have realised today that one simple change could make me feel down.

I dont know what the road ahead lies for me that if I opened the door the change could make me fly high or drop me in the shit. If I stayed and closed the door forever will it still drop me in the shit! aaarrrgh I hate decisions...cant I get a flow chart that says change ..if YES...right decision you get bonus marks..if no...you will be executed...

I am very curious to see whats behind that door but am i too old for the change? People tell me that change is good but is it reallee? people tell me its time to stand up and walk away but I am so attached to what I have now that its hard to let it go...changes ..changes ..changes...its always watching me..waiting for the right moment to knock on my door!

Me and the changes always had this funny relationship...and the fight begins again!

glamour in disguise!!

old time favorite of mine...part of the "ACTOR" lyrics

The dirty games and theNeonshows

This is the world he knows

Watching the stars satisfies my soul

Thinking of him makes me feel so cold

The fancy cars and theRestaurants

You’re just so fond of the man

Sometimes I wonder if you are blind

Can’t you see, he’s got dirt on his mind

memoires

the song that came to my mind while i did the design....

And as we lie beneath the stars

We realize how small we are

If they could love like you and me

Imagine what the world could be

***love this song***

World is my oyster

World is my oyster?

“Just go. Go out. Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.

How many of us really believes that? I like to but sorry ROSS – oysters is just not my thing.

But is the oyster really in our grasp..or should we go hunting to make our world the oyster…can we change the colors of the town that revolve around us. I often ignore the “united colors of Benetton” that I see now and then and pass them as the weird images of my mind..the work of the pessimistic part of my brain that tries to overtake my controlled emotions.

And today the “fun loving cool friend of mine” lost his oyster..the town for him turned to a color of rainbow but I guess a real dull one. I keep telling him that he can actually control his life..he can grab the oyster and paint the town red..hehehe that doesn’t sound really decent ..i know..he totally cracked up laughing!!

I guess to some extend our old friend ROSS is right..think 5 years maybe 2 years back!!havent you thought of really giving up or thinking your life sucks and today when you really think about it its kind of funny how everything turned back all right!!

Sometimes I am a victim of the colorless town and live in an oysterless world but then again why should I sit here and sulk about something that would make my day worse..why cant I just go out, kick my heels and start painting the town red. All I need is some one to go out and enjoy a coffee with someone who can talk “tom and jerry” or talk about how “peggy” in southpark got killed and reborn!!

So my cool friend..although your lifes been going through a depression phase ..lets just go and count the oysters we have got ;-)

creating the banner!!

attacked by lifes necessity to work i have been lately forced to neglect blogging...the wheels of my work load had conquered the so called time i spent for myself and drained creativity out of me...it had become the matrix that i could not escape from

finally after a fierce fight between me and my workload i managed to escape from the hands of the numerous contracts, presentations, daily routine...its not over yet!! i hear em say!!

the need for my survival and the addiction to empty the Male' shops has still forced me to cling to the money making machine..the survival tool which is linked to the workload..but i have squeezed sometime from my conquerer and managed to create the paradoX banner!!

phew!! energy draining out...need RED BULL who is supposed to give me wings to fly away!!

its a breeze...

its a breeze in the darkenss of night

just a breeze that caressed my life

caught my hand and kissed my soul

fearless nights

thoughtless dreams

though an illusion

seems so real

just a breeze in the darkest night

only a breeze ..its just a breeze

aaarGGGGHHHHH!!

this is exactly how i feel now!!

rolling eyes

cant hold on any longer..need to get out ...need to breath..need to see a human being who can talk my talk

panting..running...panting*

trapped ..trapped again!

knock knock noo answer again*

I have made up my mind...i am gonna quit ,...soon the day will come when i would no longer walk in the same road..when i would change my life !! when i can no longer be compressed or expanded to other peoples wishes.

soft sign ....looking out of the window to the slight ray of light

V won the SPERM RACE **clap clap***

We are all winners!!

one of my friends declared late last nite at our vey late night coffee..the aromatherapy of DINE N DINE was wearing out by then...and the waiter buzzing around our table to see if we had paid the bill yet.

so there we were all scratching our heads...and he the great master of sperm theory ranted on about his own theory or was it stolen from one of his browisng session hehehe..

according to the sperm theory cracker we are all a consequence of a sperm race and to come to this world we have practically murdered hundreds of sperms. We are the so-called winners..the great knight of honor of the big war between the sperms to come to this world! We are all born winners!! and that made me feel realleee good (yeah small things makes me click)..I am a born winner! whatever happens in my life whichever road i take is after i became the winner...so ladies and gentlemen be proud of yourself...YOU ARE A BORN WINNER

***more claps***

& a cry baby :-p

let the beat control your body..

without the background and clove hair








with the twirl background

Tribute to Final Fantasy - part 1

an outcome of a very stressful day!!!

penelo - a character from final fantasy 12 ...cant explain much abt her as I havent yet been to the world of FF12. The FF12 oldies explains her as the dancing angel!

FF12 is still on my "must play" list.

Spiral Hair-dos

new funky hair-dos!!

inspired by the new Tshirt my niece bought! thanks IHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

caught in god of war disease

i have been swallowed by the "god of war" disease spreading all around me. The main mission of everyone around me is the game search from the day they heard god of war II is out. The world of torrent had created an illusion for those god of war blinded souls and forced them to play and reach a certain save point - but now the miserable souls are struck with the reality. left with an incomplete version and their craving is almost forcing them to surrender to the world of frustration.

The door for KRATOS world is still shut in this part of earth!

one of the cravers thought she had almost defeated everyone by buying the complete version from the shop infront of "bodyglove" and the best part is she got a free bay blade which all of us enjoyed playing afterwards. but the brutal KRATOS wouldnt be defeated! the game was pixelated and gets stuck after every second. After a looong fight she accepted her defeat!

after the disappointment from the pirated game in the shops and torrent betrayal - the wait begins again!!

as for me."the peace lover" ..god of war is hard stuff, too much brutality! i am still hung up on final fantasy 10 :-)

sunshine through the storm

love knocked on my door..and you walked in

with that smile you swept me away

you took my hand..and lead me to happiness

seems like i found my way home

darkness could never stay away

crept into our lives and took me away

caught in the storm ..i struggled to hold on to you

watched the last bokkura sail away

still by my side..i found you

fighting through the storm..you held my hand

you stole my pain so I can heal again

fixed my wings so I can fly again

drank my bitter tears so I can smile again

flooded me with love so I can breath again

dark clouds are gone...storm cleared

thought will never get through

yet, here we are hand in hand,

watching the sun rise

walking to the endless tommorow

**dedicated to my husband ..NAVIN..

portrait

just painting an idea i had while i sipped the last drop of coffee which the waiter in SALSA vowed was LAVAZZA..

tasted like the coffee beans been left to dry from the cave age.

i say as long as the coffee can make your rusted brains come out of the work coma - it rocks!!

conversation from the coffee table: what does the guys in space eat? everyone voted that they normally ate clay and their liver floats in the gravity!

Banner

another drop from my coffee break - a whisperer in the shadows!

hear the whispers in the shadows from the past

my little world

paradoX designs

My little world..
Attacked me with the obsession of trying to fit in to my world ..yeup my inner self which craves for a normal life and ability to do whatever I wish is defeated by the sensitive side of me.

My little world
Declared my over weight body ‘not acceptable”..

The nights spent struggling to keep up with the exercise guru is not doing the trick any more. I surrender to the only way of survival - starvation!!!

My little world …
A place where people worship appearance…

the very first words coming out from those to whom i have been invisible is that my body has been transformed to a fat chicken!

The flood lights are on and its my turn to walk through the crowd , with fake smile on my lips…

I watch in disbelief as people turn around with the same look on their face…

she got to starve..i hear them say..starve herself to a nano bit!

My obsession crawls in to my body demanding me to STARVE till I become invisible to my shadow!

every broken heart heals...

when life reaches edge of despair hope is the only thing we can hold on to ..a saying that i had been inspired by though out my life...

I often wonder how much pain or despair a human can hold in his heart..ofcourse it differs from one being to another..after all everyone is an individual ..one with different views, different life...

Can really a heartache be a road to someones deathbed..can a beautiful feeling kill someone..why do we love to get hurt and let our lives tortured by the feeling of despair!

the thoughts had been running through my mind since one of the guys in my "coffee crowd" declared that he feels his life is over after his "loved one" decided to break his heart and be with someone else... i kept staring at him and feeling sorry for him..what if he really had to face a real tragedy?

Despair, pain...is it a mere heartache! For me tragedy and heart break had a totally different meaning .. its the feeling of losing someone to the hands of death..the loneliness of the mother who sent his son to war...the pain of hundreds of kids who gets abused and tortured every day...the tears of the wife who witnessed her husbandbeing tortured to death infront of her...the helplessness of all the mothers to see their children die of hunger..the struggles of someone who is not lucky like us to see the world, to hear the sounds or speak! Tragedy is all around the world today..Tragedy is what we hear and read about every day...

I dont know what tommorow will bring to my life but today I feel lucky ... lucky to be breathing fresh air, having a coffee with everyone and laughing about every day jokes, to go to a home and sleep in my bed...i feel i live in luxury everyday! So heartbroken guys and girls out there...its not the end of life..not the end of your happiness...the tears that you shed will be short lived...take this as a second chance to find love..and feel love...love is a beautiful experience!

Nothing is for ever!

Every heart can be mended...every pain will be healed its just the taste of bitterness that remains..

my world of abstraction

an abstract has never failed to capture my eyes! A reason why I have been fascinated in designing and creating abstract.

My first design from adobe photoshop (ofcourse after doing numerous tutorials) - a sip from my coffee break "THE CAPTURED FLOWERS!!"

Illusions

how many times had life surprised you..with a tragedy or wih a smile that lingers in your lips! Sometimes it goes on like an endless journey..a routine life with swirls and turns but never a breakthrough. Sometimes it takes a blink of an eye to change your world..a friend to be a foe ..a foe to be friend.. a lover to be a memory...a moment to be a dream...
the first kiss ..do you remember the feel of it..the thought of falling in love and counting the stars..
do you ever linger the sparks to be back? or have yourself float in a lovely dream..
its all a dream..its all an illusion..its just a one moment..like the butterflies fading away ..you fly and fade..and fly again to reach the dream land you have dreamt to be..
its like the smokes that float in the air and disappear..
but if you close your eyes and think ..there is always the lovely memories that would make a lifetime
the illlusion that colored your life ...might color it back again!!

Bill board design

when style mingles with art

i like to think that this sparkles the perfect blend of expresso

afterall, expresso is brewed by extracting the heart of the bean

ENJOY

Slanted Imagination: Prinsoners of Mind

Slanted Imagination: Prinsoners of Mind

Album Cover

presenting to you the album art - hot from the cappucino mixture and foamed up while my minds being paradoxed by the coffee chemistry

yeup ..what a coffee break can make my idle hands do....ENJOY

Cool Down!!

first taste of advertisement latte'

logo - paradoX

creating the logo!!!

winds of changes

everyday is a new beginning...everyday we feel the winds changing

you have been paradoxed by fashion bug!!

First Sip!!

welcome to my world of artwork!

like what you see? thinking of paradoxing your next brochure, artwork etc ..email to pararifaa@gmail.com