Me and the changes

today as I stood at TMA gate to board the seaplane I realised that although at times I can adjust easily to abrupt changes I am not emotionally OK with it. After the strike of MAT crews , my flight to the resort I work in have been cancelled and which also made me spend a whole day and looong 12 hours at the airport so that I could atleast make to the resort on the speedboat. Later on I was told that I should catch the TMA flight today!! But thats not the topic here ,,and yeah getting back to what I was talking about ...**sometimes I do get carried away and yeah yesterday was a reallleee loooong day **

I stared at the empty MAT counter today as the plane took off and my heart sank. I loved the coool style of the MAT sand bar and most of all the coffeeeeee!!! the MAT guys and girls are friendly and can catch up a conversation with them easily or joke abt any topic at all! Unfortunately I found the TMA guys quite shy or hesitant to talk and avoiding any possible conversation. The guy at the coffee counter didnt even give me change for my coffeee

**eyes roll**

I have no personal problem with TMA and I am just stressing the point about me being not flexible about how a certain change can really make my mood go off! Once my friend declared that I am a "change"person that I dare to take the step that could change my life forever. And I guess although most of the time I do pretend that its OK every time I do feel my heart sink when I take the step ahead. And for a certain time I would miss my previous routine life so much that I would even try to turn back and go! Everytime my pride and stubborness would hold my feet together so I dont make the wrong choice or would it be the right one!

And once again I can feel the change knocking on my door and this time I am hesitant to open it and let it come through especially after I have realised today that one simple change could make me feel down.

I dont know what the road ahead lies for me that if I opened the door the change could make me fly high or drop me in the shit. If I stayed and closed the door forever will it still drop me in the shit! aaarrrgh I hate decisions...cant I get a flow chart that says change ..if YES...right decision you get bonus marks..if no...you will be executed...

I am very curious to see whats behind that door but am i too old for the change? People tell me that change is good but is it reallee? people tell me its time to stand up and walk away but I am so attached to what I have now that its hard to let it go...changes ..changes ..changes...its always watching me..waiting for the right moment to knock on my door!

Me and the changes always had this funny relationship...and the fight begins again!